Wednesday, May 27, 2009




Today is National Butterfly Day.

Today is National Hamburger Day.

1954: President Dwight Eisenhower signed a law that added the words "under God" to the U.S. Pledge of Allegiance.

The National Academy of Recording Arts and Sciences was established on this day in 1957. This is the group that brought us the Grammy Awards—and living proof that singers and musicians can make acceptance speeches just as boring as actors.

Jim Thorpe was born on this day in 1886. You probably never heard of him because he didn't have a shoe contract.

His Olympic gold medals were taken away when it was discovered that he’d once played semi-pro baseball. If you’re not clear on what "semi-pro" baseball is, just catch a KC Royals game.

On this date in 1959 the U.S. blasted two monkeys into space from Cape Canaveral. If we can do it with monkeys, why can’t we do it with the Speaker of the House, Nancy Pelosi?

King Solomon of Israel was born on this day in 970 B.C. Solomon tried everything to find joy in life. He became the wealthiest, most intelligent, most powerful man of his time. He did more good deeds, accumulated more possessions, and got drunker than anybody. He had 700 wives and all the beautiful mistresses he wanted. But the only joy Solomon found was in finally deciding to trust and obey God.

In other words, the famous "wisdom of Soloman" didn't even begin to kick in until he finally realized how stupid he was.

The turning point may have been the 700 wives.

Solomon said there's a time for everything. With 700 wives I don't see how he had time for anything.

On this day in 1955 Albert Whitehouse of the U.S. Steel Workers Union predicted the future would some day bring a two-hour work day. And he was right. If you don't believe it, just visit Congress.

Noah Webster, the author of the American Dictionary of the English Language, died on this day in 1843.

Dr. Joe Guillotin was born on this day in 1747. Dr. Guilotin invented the guillotine as a less painful, more humane way of executing criminals. Not only that, if you chop off someone's head, he's probably less likely to become a repeat offender.


The price of gas is creeping up. Do not panic. Stay calm. I want you to know -- whatever happens - I still have all of my jokes about the high price of gas from last summer.

President Obama has nominated Sonia Sotomayor as the first female Hispanic justice on the Supreme Court She grew up in the Bronx. She said, "Don't be fooled by the robes I got, I'm still Sonia from the block."

The UAW's retirement health care program will take a 17.5% ownership stake in GM... raising hopes that the company will now take about 10 years to make an ambulance that gets 3 miles per gallon.

Economy The economy is getting so bad that some people are now sewing their Sham-Wows together to make their own Snuggies.

"Night at the Museum" made a bazillion dollars over the weekend. I would hate to actually spend a real night in a museum. All those ancient fossils and dusty old bones . . . if I wanted that I'd watch "60 Minutes."

The museum I do like is Madam Tussauds Wax Museum in London. They have a Karen Dye figure in there but you can tell it’s fake because there’s still a piece of chicken sitting on the plate I’m holding.

Donald Trump has closed his magazine. It was called -- surprise -- "Trump". It was a magazine for men who want to be like Donald. At its peak it had seven subscribers.

Wal-Mart is hosting its second annual ice cream social this Saturday from 11 til 4. That means free ice cream at select Supercenters nationwide.

The nation’s largest retailer will be handing out free Ben and Jerry’s Flipped Out Cup ice cream, Blue Bunny Aspen Frozen Yogurt Granola Bars and Dibs Snack Bags at two thousand participating locations.
A company press release also offers up Americans’ five favorite ice cream flavors:
5. Neapolitan
4. Mint Chip
3. Butter Pecan
2. Chocolate
1. Vanilla

Red Bull is being recalled in six German states after traces of cocaine were found in the energy drink.

According to Flexnews, analysts in North-Rhine Westphalia found 1 liter of the drink contained 0.4 milligrams of cocaine. German officials note that the levels are too low to be of any danger, but cocaine is not permitted in food, so the drink is being pulled.

Red Bull denies these claims, saying that the company uses the extract of coca leaf worldwide as a natural flavoring. Officials insist its cola is "harmless and marketable" in both the US and in Europe.

Procter & Gamble's Downy fabric softener has teamed up with Quilts for Kids, Inc to deliver personalized, hand-made quilts to children staying in Children's Miracle Network hospitals throughout the country. CHANDRA WILSON of "Grey's Anatomy" is a mother of three and is the spokesperson.

At the website, people can make donations, volunteer to deliver quilts or even learn how to become a local ambassador. Quilters can request a quilt kit at the site or design their own to send to their local Quilts for Kids chapter or headquarters for distribution.

National Spelling Bee on National Television Tonight finals starting at 8 p.m. on ABC.

Conservation Dept. Encouraging People to Howl Like Wolves
HOLDEN, Maine - A project involving conservationists and U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service biologists is looking for a few dozen people willing to howl like wolves in Maine's North Woods.

The Wolf Inquiry Project plans to conduct "howling surveys" in several areas this summer in hopes of discovering whether wolves are resettling in Maine.

The Bangor Daily News said coordinators are seeking individuals willing to spend a night howling in the woods and who won't be scared off if they get a response.

A training and information session for interested volunteers will be held Saturday from 8:30 a.m. to 3:30 p.m. at the Fields Pond Audubon Center in Holden.

45 Pounds of Meat and 4 Gallons of Miracle Whip
PORTLAND, Maine - As record-setting sandwiches go, the planned world's largest lobster roll will be a colossal crustacean creation.

A team of culinary whizzes plan to combine 45 pounds of lobster meat, four gallons of Miracle Whip and a special blend of herbs and seasonings into a mix that will be slathered onto a 60-foot roll — so large that the bread will be brought in on a flatbed truck.

The monster lobster roll is to be unveiled June 7 during Maine's Old Port Festival in Portland.

The lobster roll will be cut into 4-inch sections that are to be sold as part of a fundraiser for a Portland neighborhood association for youth swimming lessons.

The association intends to get the roll certified by Guinness World Records.

Man Hopes To Visit Every Starbucks in the World
A man on a mission to visit every Starbucks in the world has a problem: Starbucks Corp. is closing scores of stores he has yet to visit.

The freelance software programmer, 37 years old, calls himself Winter. He was on a job in Wisconsin last month when he learned that a Starbucks in Prince George, British Columbia, would close the next day. He spent $1,400 to jet there for a cup of coffee -- sugar, no cream -- and a photograph.

"If the store closed before I visited, I would lose another piece of my soul," Winter says.

He has been to more than 9,000 Starbucks stores in the U.S., Japan, Lebanon, Turkey and 13 other countries in the past dozen years, a trek chronicled on his Web site, He gained some notoriety mid-decade, when he was the subject of media reports and a documentary film, "Starbucking." He has "mildly obsessive-compulsive tendencies," he concedes, and a "mild addiction" to coffee.
Born Rafael Antonio Lozano Jr., Winter is single and has no kids. When he's not on the road working on software contract jobs, playing in Scrabble tournaments or visiting Starbucks, he lives with his parents in Houston, where he stores his collection of 10,000 super-hero comic books.

He changed his name because he didn't want his credit history confused with his father's. (His dad's credit history is fine, Winter says.) His mother, Georgina Lozano, says she and her husband refuse to call their son "Winter" and pray he will halt his Starbucks mission. "My husband and I feel it's a waste of time," she says.

Winter counters that he has a purpose-driven life. "People should be out doing something rather than just existing or surviving. Even if you think that what I'm doing is meaningless, it is a purpose, at least," he says. Lately, he adds, "I feel not just satisfaction, but genuine relief when I visit a store before it closes
"Pointless though it might it be," says Winter, who plans to go to the U.K. next week, "a goal is a goal."

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