Wednesday, June 17, 2009

THURSDAY - JUNE 18, 2009



Today is Wild Den Dancing Day, a day to play all your favorite old songs and dance wildly in the family room while your children roll their eyes.

Today is Recess at Work Day. Sounds like fun.

Today is National Splurge Day, a day to have fun

Today is International Picnic Day. And for those who always put too much onion in the potato salad, it's also International Rolaids Day.

On this date in 1812 the U.S. declared war on Great Britain. And from force of habit, France surrendered.

On this day in 1983 astronaut Sally Ride became the first American woman in outer space. The mission was nearly perfect, with the only problem occurring on landing when Sally could re-fold the map.

Napoleon met his Waterloo on this day in 1815, and the history of the world was changed because of one simple little problem -- hemorrhoids.
Sitting on a horse caused Napoleon so much pain that he delayed his attack at Waterloo for two hours, enough time for enemy reinforcements to arrive. Now think about it: Why do you suppose they haven't made that story into a Prep-H commercial? Just think, the entire history of the world could have been changed by little fast, temporary relief.


IOWA TEENAGER WINS TEXT TITLE 15 year old Kate Moor of Des Moines, Iowa, landed the $50,000 first prize just eight months after getting her first cell phone! Kate beat out 20 other finalists from around the country over two days of challenges including texting while blindfolded and texting while maneuvering through a moving obstacle course. In the final showdown Kate had to text three lengthy phrases without making any mistakes on the required abbreviations, capitalization or punctuation. She squeaked through by a few seconds on the tiebreaking text, getting the best out of three.

Kate says she sends about 400-470 texts per day. Approximately 14,000 per month. She is a great student, performs in school plays and socializes with friends –in person – on the weekends!

The event is sponsored by LG Electronics and all the finalists were 22 years old or younger, with over 250,000 people trying to get a spot in the competition.

If you are a KC Royal fan you will be interested in knowing that pitcher Kyle Farnsworth injured his left, non-pitching hand when one of his pet American bulldogs bit him as he tried to break up a fight between the two canines he owns. He suffered cuts to his index finger and the bites went deep enough to reach bu not cut a tendon. Farnsworth taped the finger and tucked it under his glove and shagged balss during batting practice telling the manager he was fine and still able to pitch.

A study shows employees who are afraid losing their jobs in
these tough times do not report accidents in the workplace. By the way, here's a safety reminder: I am not responsible for injuries you may receive while rolling around on the floor laughing at my jokes.

IRELAND: When you visit Ireland, think twice before you kiss the Blarney Stone. In a survey by Trip Advisor dot com, the Blarney Stone was named "World's Germiest Tourist Attraction".

The stone attracts 400,000 kissers each year. Other attractions
that round out the germy list:

#2: Seattle's Wall of Gum. People waiting to get into the Market
Theater have left their chewed gum since the 1990s.

#3: Oscar Wilde's Tomb in Paris. It's a tradition for visitors
to leave lipstick prints by kissing the tombstone.

#4: St. Mark's Square in Venice, Italy. Home to thousands of
filthy pigeons.

#5: The celebrity handprints and footprints outside Grauman's
Chinese Theater in Hollywood.


John McCain said on his Twitter feed that he's buying a new Ford Fusion hybrid. A year ago, McCain didn't use a computer; now he's on Twitter and buying a hybrid. I think he's like Benjamin Button.

Did you see the video of President Obama killing a fly? During a TV interview a fly started bugging him, so he killed it. There will be a Congressional enquiry into why the Secret Service guys were not there with Swatter One.

Use of Facebook has increased by more than 600% since last year. The latest trend? Owning TWO laptops - so you can be on Facebook twice at the same time.

MySpace will lay off 30% of its staff. In case you didn't know, Facebook is cool -- MySpace is uncool. MySpace is so uncool --some users are on MySpace only three hours a day.

Apparently we can't believe what we saw on TV. An Iranian
government spokesperson denied -- this is true -- he denied
there were thousands of protesters on the streets. He also
denied Iran's religious leaders all have long beards and look kinda scary.

The Statue of Liberty's crown will re-open to the public on July 4th. They say being inside Lady Liberty's head is a unique experience. Gee, I wonder if there's a side tour that includes her sinuses.

This week's big science story: Trapped in a block of ice in Greenland, scientists found a tiny microbe that was sleeping for 120,000 years, and successfully woke it up. So far their studies show the microbe is cranky and has very bad breath.

Excitement in the world of comic book heroes: Marvel Comics will bring back Captain America. This time Captain America will be assisted by his new sidekick -- Sergeant Bailout.

Some airlines are planning to charge extra for meals. OK, here's what I don't like about eating a meal on a plane: The drinks are in sealed containers. The knives and forks are all sealed in plastic bags. But the food just sits there on a shelf next to the toilet. That bothers me!

The Cloud Appreciation Society is asking meteorologists to
recognize a new type of cloud they discovered. (TRUE) I think I speak for everybody when I say -- "There's a Cloud Appreciation Society"....?? Yes, there is. There's also a Fog Fan Club. And a Precipitation Admiration Association.

Doctors predict a return of Mad Cow Disease and Bird Flu you catch
from chickens. There's a simple explanation. Cows and chickens
are jealous of all the publicity pigs are getting from Swine Flu.

A doctor says swine flu can be passed from humans to dogs. My dog, Buddy, is very health conscious. He always makes me wash my hands before
I scratch behind his ears.

Remember a few years ago -- a Japanese company came out with a "Dog Translator". It told you what your dog is saying when he barks. The same company now has a "Cat Translator", it translatesa cat's meows. If you connect the two gadgets -- your dog and cat can talk to each other. They don't need you anymore.

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