Monday, June 1, 2009




To help us celebrate this special day here are a few jokes!

Q: What do you get if you cross a pig with a dinosaur?
A: Jurassic Pork!

Q: What kind of dinosaur can you ride in a rodeo?
A: A Bronco-saurus!

Q: What kind of materials do dinosaurs use for the floor of their homes?
A: Rep Tiles

Q: What do you get when you cross a dinosaur with fireworks?



Today is National Rocky Road Day.

Today is National Dinosaur Day.

The P.T. Barnum Circus began its first U.S. tour on this day in 1835.

Actor Jerry Mathers, television’s Beaver Cleaver, was born on this day in 1948. The Beaver now a geezer the AARP.

On this day in 1896 Guglielmo Marconi received the first patent for broadcasting by means of electro-magnetic waves. I tried that once, but every time I waved I almost fell off the tower. Guglielmo Marconi, made it possible for us radio people to made big money and live high on the pig. Heck, thanks to radio, I'm rich -- My DVD player is paid off and I can afford all the Beanie Weenies I want.

On this date in 1933 a heated swimming pool was installed in the White House. President Obama asked that the swimming pool be swapped out for a basketball court. I think, to suit my style, if I wqere the president I would ask that it be a HUGE deep fryer!

Today is National Leave the Office Earlier Day, a day for pros to work harder, finish quicker, and get home early to spend more time with their families.

June is Fireworks Safety Month, the time to decide if you’d rather lose your fingers, your sight, or your hearing.

June is Fight the Filthy Fly Month. Flies are filthy because they have filthy little feet, with a constant supply of sticky stuff oozing out between their toes. The sticky stuff allows the filthy fly to walk on your ceiling, and lets him pick up every filthy germ he steps on -- just before he jogs through your strawberry shortcake.


Congratulations to all of the graduates of 2009.m Lots of graduations in Missouri over this past weekend. The trouble with most commencement ceremonies is that they seem almost as long as your senior year.

I'll never forget the thrill of accepting my diploma and looking out at the faces of those who made it all possible: my mother, my brother and sister ... my truant officer....

Father Watches Three Sons Graduate From His Post in Iraq

FAYETTE COUNTY, Ga. -- Kyle, Corey and Sean Cooke, brothers and triplets, graduated from Whitewater High School in Fayette County Friday night, and like the other graduates there, their parents were watching with beaming pride.

The big difference is that their father was watching from nearly 7,000 miles away at Camp Victory in Baghdad.

Air Force Captain William Cooke is stationed in Iraq, and asked the faculty at Whitewater High if there was any way he could see the ceremonies so that he could watch his boys graduate. Staff at Whitewater contacted 11Alive.

Staffers from 11Alive News huddled with NBC News and came up with a unique way for Capt. Cooke to be able to watch the graduation ceremony. 11Alive streamed the ceremony live on, and carried a live stream of Capt. Cooke watching from Baghdad.

The logistical challenges were not only a matter of technology, but also of time.
"It's 7:00 for you, it's 3:00 in the morning for them; so this is a bit of an all-nighter for them," said NBC Southern Regional Director Danny Noa.

Noa, based in Atlanta, worked with the NBC News bureau in Baghdad to arrange for live images of Capt. Cooke watching the ceremony live to be sent back to the United States.

"They're going to where he is, and then you guys have the task of making sure the video is getting streamed back to him," Noa said. was the staging area for the entire production. One side of the front page of carried the ceremony live from Fayette County, while the other side carried live images of Capt. Cooke at Camp Victory.

"I grew up watching WXIA. They're simply fantastic," Capt. Cooke said while watching the video feed on

Capt. Cooke stood up when the National Anthem was played at the outdoor ceremony on the Whitewater football field, with the stands packed with family and friends. Cooke simply beamed when the Anthem was concluded with an Air Force flyover of the football field.

Hundreds of 11Alive viewers watched on as the boys walked across the stage to get their diplomas, and as a beaming Capt. Cooke watched from Iraq.

Corey, Kyle and Sean knew their dad was watching from Camp Victory, but the big surprise for the boys was that once they walked across the stage to get their diplomas, they were able to come over to 11Alive's camera position and along with 11Alive's Chris Sweigart and Matt Pearl, actually talk with Capt. Cooke in Baghdad.

"I'm so proud of you boys," Capt. Cooke said, while wiping his eyes, a huge smile of pride on his face.

"We love you, Dad," the boys said, while watching their father on the screen.

"How bout these 11Alive guys putting this together? They're great," Capt. Cooke said to the boys.

After all of the Whitewater graduates passed across the stage, an image of Capt. Cooke watching the ceremony via satellite was displayed on the large screen facing the assembled masses. The appreciative crowd responded with a standing ovation.

As the graduation ceremony came to a close, the new graduates tossed their caps high into the air as fireworks boomed across the football field overhead.

This is a once-in-a-lifetime moment, not only for Kyle, Corey and Sean, but for their father, who despite being away in service to the nation, was able to be there for his boys.


Conan Officially Takes Over the Tonight Show People have been askin gJay Leno, “What are you gonna do after your last show? Are you going on vacation?” Jay said, he was going to a secluded spot where no one could find him…NBC prime time.

Climate Killers II
A new report by an environmental group claims that global warming is killing 300,000 people each year... most of them were crazed environmentalists who scared themselves to death.

More Red Ink
Because of all the stimulus packages and bailouts, U.S. taxpayers are now on the hook for an extra $55,000 in federal debt per household. The government hopes to pay us back by making the average price of a new Chrysler $55,000.

General Motors filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection. GM stock is pretty low now. How low is it? Lets just say if you have GM stock you have a good fire starter for your Summer barbeques.

The president of Iran is denying he tried to ban Facebook in his country. In Iran, there's a nasty punishment if you misbehave on the Internet. They chop off your mouse clicking finger.

Donald Trump has closed his magazine. It was called -- surprise -- "Trump". It was a magazine for men who want to be like Donald. At its peak it had seven subscribers.

Hurricane season officially begins today. Forecasters agree this season will be an average year for storm development. Weather experts call for anywhere from between four and seven hurricanes to form over the next six months.

PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA recently talked with the Department of Homeland Security and the Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA) about the country's storm-readiness. Obama has urged those living in hurricane-prone areas to take personal responsibility by stocking up on canned food and water, rather than rely on government assistance after a disaster strikes.

Hurricanes are extremely concerned this season that they be subject to government take-over.

Missouri Church Revival Service Gets Preacher a Ticket
Goodman, Mo. -

A tent revival is causing controversy just outside the city limits.

Word & Spirit Family Outreach, located on Highway C west of Highway 59, started setting up for revival services on May 16 and that’s when the McDonald County Sheriff’s Department started getting complaints.

During the last Tuesday’s evening service, Pastor Duane Barnett was issued a ticket for disturbing the peace.

McDonald County Sheriff Robert Evenson said the ticket was unfortunate, but his deputies had four consecutive nights with calls about the noise.

“I had two signed complaints so the deputies had to do what they had to do,” Evenson said. “Nobody wants to write a preacher a ticket.”

Barnett said the church has held large events before. An October festival held last fall had attendance of 200 people and went past the 9:30 p.m. close for the revival service.

Barnett said the services will go on regardless.

“I might have a pile of tickets when it is over, but we’re going to have revival,” Barnett said.
Jim Shelton, evangelist for the services, said he feels the conflict is that some folks just don’t want to hear the gospel.

“That is what it’s all about is getting people saved and delivered, covered by the blood of Christ and the enemy just don’t like it,” Shelton said.

During Tuesday evening’s service Shelton was on the stage when the sheriff’s department showed up.

“I was in the process of closing the service when the sheriff came on our side of the street and then several of the other people from the other side of the street came out hollering,” Shelton said.

The neighbors from across the street shouted that they were ready to sign a petition to shut the church down, according to Shelton. He says he is doing his best to keep his focus on the spiritual realm.

They have decided to extend the revival services “until God says stop.”

What Does The GM Bankruptcy Mean for Us?

General Motors' potential bankruptcy filing is sure to prompt questions for the millions of consumers who own GM vehicles or for folks who are thinking about buying a new GM car or truck. Here are some questions and answers about how the filing could affect you:

Q: Will my car's warranty still be honored?
A: Yes, and extended warranties as well, says Steve Harris, General Motors' vice president of global communications. In addition to the company's backing, they have the federal government standing behind them. The government's Warranty Commitment Plan was announced in March to reassure buyers of General Motors and Chrysler vehicles that warranty claims would be honored during the companies' restructuring.

Q: What about my GMAC car loan?
A: Keep paying it. Nothing changes.

Q: Does a GM bankruptcy mean it now will be harder to obtain a loan on a car through GMAC?
A: The government invested $7.5 billion in financing arm GMAC about two weeks ago, in part to help it keep making loans on GM vehicles as well as on Chrysler vehicles.
As a result, says Harris, GMAC loans should be as available as ever. GMAC spokeswoman Gina Proia declined to comment until after the GM filing.

Q: Will I get a better deal buying a GM car after GM's bankruptcy filing?
A: You should wait a little. The deals will sweeten as the year wears on, advises Philip Reed, senior consumer advice editor at That's because GM is seeking to cut 1,550 dealers, and the process will become easier with a bankruptcy filing.

Dealers GM wants to cut now have franchise agreements that run through October 2010, giving them plenty of time to unwind inventory (compared with the 789 Chrysler dealers facing the ax by June 9).

But federal bankruptcy judges have wide latitude to override state dealer franchise protections if the company wants to shed the dealers sooner.

"It would be good to wait several weeks before you buy," Reed says.

Even at dealers scheduled to close, as shown by Chrysler's example, don't expect fire-sale deals on the most popular models, such as the GMC Acadia crossover.

The better deals to come will be on 2009 leftovers, not-so-hot stock and discontinued models.

Q: Will I still be able to find dealer service for my current or new GM vehicle?
A: Yes, but you may have to drive a little farther to get it as the dealer network is consolidated. Harris was quick to point out, however, that even with the reduction in dealers, GM still will be in more towns and have more than twice the total dealers than Toyota has.

Q: If GM discontinues my car or truck model, will I still be able get parts for it?
A: This is not a much greater worry than for most vehicles from most makers — and it would be years down the road in any case.

The federal government requires that stocks of parts be maintained on models at least during their warranty period. Some states also have specific laws requiring product parts inventories for a set number of years.

GM models that will be discontinued also share a lot of parts with models scheduled to roll on, particularly the powertrain and electronics components that would be most critical.

The federal government has been bailing out major parts suppliers to GM and Chrysler, which will help ensure availability.

And since GM was the world's biggest automaker until last year, the sheer size of its production means aftermarket parts suppliers would have much incentive to fill in any gaps for many years to come.

Q: Will my car's resale value plunge because of bankruptcy or closing of the brand?
A: It'll fall some, but it is questionable by how much.

ALG, or Auto Lease Guide, recently subtracted another 6 percentage points from the predicted residual values of 3-year-old Chrysler vehicles because of its bankruptcy filing.

But ALG's major competitor, Kelley Blue Book, doesn't see a major impact.

"Despite the common perception that the resale will fall off a cliff if GM files for bankruptcy, the reality is that it won't have a catastrophic effect on resale values," says KBB analyst Jack Nerad. "Our experience with the cancellation of the Oldsmobile and Plymouth brands demonstrated that the resale value might take a small hit but nothing very dramatic."

New Swimsuit Fabric Eleimnates Tan Lines
LONDON, May 30 (UPI) -- A new swimsuit material that lets 80 percent of the sun penetrate to the skin could contribute to deadly forms of skin cancer, British health experts said.

The material, meant to eliminate tan-lines, has thousands of microscopic holes in the fabric that make it transparent, said John Walker, who owns Kiniki, the maker of the Tan Through fabric.

When looked at, the material appears solid because of abstract patterns and prints that confuse the eye, Walker said.

Walker's company warns wearers of Tan Through to be vigilant in applying sunscreen under the material. Health experts, however, said many wearers likely will be less than judicious in protecting tender skin, The Daily Telegraph reported Saturday.

"We recommend UV protected clothing and this is the very opposite," said Richard Clifford, a spokesman for the Karen Clifford Skin cancer charity.

“Up” Does Well At The Box Office On It’s Opening Weekend
Hollywood planned a 2nd straight weekend friendly for family filmgoers who have pent-up demand, and it was a wild success with the two top family films placing #1 and #2 With 20% of K-through-12 kids out of school Friday, Pixar/Disney's 10th pic and first 3-D movie, Up, was able to get a jump on the domestic box office with busy matinees from 1,534 3-D theaters -- a record -- and a total of 3,766 theatres total.


You Knew It Was Coming…Looks Like It’s Really Going To Happen
Octomom Realtiy Show and Book Deal
Nadya Suleman, the mother of octuplets born Jan. 26, has inked a deal with the British production company Eyeworks, which plans to begin filming a reality TV series based on the controversial single mother and her 14 children.

"I'm really excited about moving forward with this," Suleman tells PEOPLE.

Suleman's attorney Jeff Czech calls the series a "quasi-reality" show, explaining that instead of having a dozen cameramen tromping around her house 24 hours a day, film crews will only document select milestones, such as birthdays and other special events.

"Nadya knows she has to do something," says Czech. "But she doesn't want the constant filming because she feels that would be taking advantage of her kids. She's trying to find the middle ground and feels this approach will work best."

At this time, Eyeworks has yet to sell Suleman's proposed shows to any TV networks in the U.S., and is currently planning on airing her programs on British TV, then bringing the shows to America. Czech also insists that his client doesn't want her series to resemble Jon and Kate Gosselin's show.

"She's been watching them a bit lately and thinks it's boring," says Czech.

This week Suleman also finalized a deal with ghostwriter Wendy Leigh – who recently wrote Life with My Sister Madonna with Christopher Ciccone – to pen her autobiography.

"Of all her projects, this is the one she's most excited about," says Czech. "She's really looking forward to telling her story and speaking out about how she was raised, how her children are feeling, what they are asking about and things about the donor dad."

Top 10 Things You Don't Want to Hear during VBS

10. There’s a minor problem with the air conditioning. We should get it fixed by Friday.
9. We’re running low on refreshments, so we fed the kids chocolate candy and Mountain Dew.
8. Can you come and talk to the first graders? They've been crying ever since this morning’s lesson on the lake of fire.
7. Using a hammer is too difficult for our fourth graders, so they're using a nail gun to build their bird houses.
6. What time were the children supposed to be back from the field trip to the maximum security prison?
5. Can you help for a few minutes with the four-year-olds? A couple of the teachers left the room screaming.
4. No one told us they were permanent markers.
3. We thought paper towels would be okay since we were out of toilet paper.
2. Our substitute pianist doesn’t know the sit down or stand up chords, but he’s memorized a lot of Broadway show tunes.
1. My teachers and I thought this would be a good time to tell the kids that Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy are really messengers of Satan.
Source: Gerry Peak (


Now I lay me down to sleep,
I pray my sanity to keep.
For if some peace I do not find,
I'm pretty sure I'll lose my mind.
I pray I find a little quiet
Far from the daily family riot
May I lie back--not have to think
about what they're stuffing down the sink,
or who they're with, or where they're at
and what they're doing to the cat.
I pray for time all to myself
(did something just fall off a shelf?)
To cuddle in my nice, soft bed
(Oh no, another goldfish--dead!)
Some silent moments for goodness sake
(Did I just hear a window break?)
And that I need not cook or clean--
(well heck, I've got the right to dream)
Yes now I lay me down to sleep,
I pray my wits about me keep,
But as I look around I know--
I must have lost them long ago!
Posted by Ken Sapp on June 6

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